Possession and Cofronting Tips And Articles
Assorted things too small to be guides, but that were still helpful.
Front-hogging, and how to counteract it. – Quandary
[Architect] This is an adaptation of some advice we'd recently posted elsewhere.
What is front-hogging? It's when your host/primary agrees to fork over some of the body time, and they end up taking it back anyway before you're done. It's usually not a deliberate attempt to hurt you on their part and more a matter of impulse and distraction, but it doesn't stop it from becoming any less annoying.
Make no mistake. The responsibility to control themselves lies with them, and this sort of thing isn't your fault. But here's some advice that might make it easier for them to step back, and you to hang on.
Set concrete schedules. “I'll give you some time to front today” is extremely vague and very hard to hold anyone to. What's better is “two hours to front.” What's even better is “two hours to front starting at 2 PM today.” The more specific the window, the harder it is for the host to justify grabbing control back during that time.
Eliminate distractions. Close out Skype, close out their tabs, close out their games. Remove their knickknacks from the area. If at all possible, they should arrange to have all social obligations taken care of before the time you'll be fronting.
Customize the area to suit you. Open up your music. Bring out your own knickknacks. Prepare a drink that you like. Hell, plug in your favorite air freshener if you want. Create a space that declares that it's for you.
Find a hobby. Let's face it, wiggling fingers and walking in circles gets old fast. It's easy to get bored and space out, which then makes it easy for your host to slip back in. Draw, paint, write, code, read, do math. Anything that stimulates your brain, and that you also genuinely enjoy doing for the sake of doing. It's hard to find a passion, but if you can, you'll suddenly find it much easier to take front. In the meantime, explore and build up your own mental skills.
Take periodic breaks to ground yourself, especially when you're doing something brainless like washing dishes. Breathe, picture your own body and overlay it over your physical body, do a few coordination exercises (e.g. touching your hand to your nose with your eyes closed), remind yourself that you are the one currently in front.
Make friends that are your own, not as an extension of your host. There's nothing wrong with having mutual friends, but finding people that are your friends first and foremost will help to an extent that's hard to put into words. This is far easier said than done, of course, and I'll be sure to dedicate another article to this.
Build your own identity. Build a sense of yourself that isn't based on what your host has told you about you. Find things that make you think of yourself, find people you admire and emulate them, find what you value. The better an idea you have of yourself, the easier it is to be yourself at front, and the more likely it is that you'll find your passion. This is another easier said than done thing with many layers, which will also warrant its own article. However, it's also something that snowballs easily.
Take on responsibilities. Don't have to be big ones, little ones like taking out the trash or doing the laundry work as well. Get used to staying at front even when it's not actively fun, and take pride in having a direct hand in daily life.
By all means, negotiate your time with them. Play an active role in getting your time. Don't be afraid to be a little pushy. Don't be afraid to show your disappointment if they renege on a prior agreement just because they wanted to play WoW. Yes, I know, tulpamancy culture discourages tulpas from doing this and encourages them to be as little of a burden on their host as possible. I personally think some parts of tulpamancy culture are far too soft on the host. If you want to learn, you have to have discipline, and it's not out of your place as a tulpa to enforce it.
Along the lines of the above, get comfortable with asking. Ask if you can help with things. If there's a lull and your host isn't doing anything in particular, ask if you can have a little time to doodle or to write. Ask if you can try out their game, if you can try cooking dinner. Be comfortable with accepting “no” for an answer—this is a place where mutual trust is important. This habit is especially important if you want timesharing to simply be a part of everyday life, instead of just an isolated slice of time, and is a large part of negotiating your own time.
To tl;dr the above, a lot of it boils down to: make agreements as clear as possible, clear out distractions, build an independent mindset and self (yet another thing to write another article on), exercise smarter as well as longer. There's a few other nifty mental tricks—meditating your host away, using symbolism to place mental barriers between you and your host, and flat out pretending your host doesn't exist and has never existed—but those are a little more intermediate, and would warrant their own article.
If you're a tulpa, don't despair. With enough fronting practice, you'll get to the point where you can catch your host trying to hog front and be able to brush them aside like a stray thought. It won't be easy, but you'll get there eventually if you keep trying. If you're an alter, lucky you. Chances are that you already innately have that ability. But if you want to minimize the annoyance, you might still find this useful. If you're neither tulpa nor alter, you're still welcome to make use of this, although I don't think I ever needed to give you permission.
Cheers.
PS: Oh, and this really should go without saying, but if you don't have a strong rapport and trust in each other, you should really work on that before delving into possession and switching, as this does involve a lot of power exchange. Just saying.
Co-Fronting: A First Hand Account (Eclipsing) – Zumester
Co-fronting is something that comes to me naturally. I’m not entirely sure why or how. It was happening to me before I realized what the experience was, or exactly how it was taking place. It was happening to me before I realized that I wasn't the only one inhabiting my head. We’re not sure exactly how it feels for others, but because we feel like it might be educational, informative, or at the very least, interesting, we’d like to post a first person account as to exactly how co-fronting works for us.
This isn’t, strictly, a guide. However, because it serves an instructional purpose, I will leave it in the Guides section under Co-fronting. Let me know if this was a mistake.
To clarify for those who may not know: regular font is me, Jude, speaking, and italicized font is Eli speaking. We will be switching back and forth rapidly in order to give both of our accounts, for the benefit of both host and thought form.
I’m sitting on the couch in my living room, facing forwards, taking slow, deep breaths. I take a few moments to experience myself. My thoughts. My memories. Any semblance of identity I have in me. And then I let it all go. With every breath, I breathe bits and pieces of myself into thin air, as though emptying my form and readying it to be filled by something else.
[Note: For us, this isn’t a full on switch. I’m still conscious, I still have the ability to decide what the body does, I have the ability to take back full control. I’m not necessarily taking my identity and putting it somewhere else. This process is more akin to going through one’s old computer files and organizing what’s there, throwing away what’s unnecessary, and processing what needs to stay. I’m releasing excess thoughts and emotions. Essentially, I’m making room for Eli.]
I live inside of Jude’s head. In the darkness and the shadows that permeate their being. The only light that exists inside their hollow shell is the light that comes from thought. My thoughts, their thoughts. Our mindscape forms, immortalized in what should be pitch black.
Jude sits up front. In a dimension separate from the mindscape I inhabit. It’s bright, and beautiful, and blinding at the same time. And I wouldn’t trade places with them for anything in the world, because I am a creature of the darkness, and the light would surely waste me away. However, between the darkness and the light, there is a half dimension. A middle ground. As Jude makes room inside of them, I grow. And I fill that space, between the darkness and the light. Becoming a part of them is like pulling a perfectly fitted suit onto your shoulders, and straightening your bow tie, and knowing that you look your best.
You can feel the parts of them, shifting into place. As though you are wearing their soul on top of yours. And none is more important than the other. You are in control of one body. That body belongs to both of you. And you are equals. You are one.
I feel something inside of me, a physical form to fill the void. We tilt our head to the left, and then to the right, and then to the left again, our motions jerky and uneven and unpracticed. We look around, and every time, it’s as though we’re seeing the room for the first time. Parts of us are. We shrug our shoulders. We square our back. We open our mouth wide and lick our teeth, and a grin tugs at the left side of our mouth. It’s a ritual of ours. A ritual of his. Something about the experience gives him something to grin about, and I’m pulled along for the ride.
We move as a unit. We move as one person. And yet there is a conscious difference between his motions and mine. It’s almost as though our subconsciouses have found a way to speak to one another. His tells mine that he wants to stand and stretch. Mine reacts, in a way that leaves my conscious mind in the dust. I am constantly surprised by the things that he does, and yet, it’s instinctual enough that it feels right at the same time.
_ They do their part. I do mine. It’s fluid, in many ways, and in many other ways, there are a thousand differences between us._
Often, we sing. Nobody is home to hear how terrible we are. And so we sing. A line or two from Jude, voice strong. The voice of a choir kid who’s been singing in the shower since they were 8 years old. Mine interrupts, impulse almost taking me by surprise. A lower, rougher voice. Not as sure of itself. Still figuring out what it wants to sound like. A tenor, that’s what I am, or so I am told. I am proud of the title. And yet it’s clear that I have no idea how to use it.
His thoughts bleed into mine, and this experience, this moment, is the closest I can get to living life through his eyes. It’s the closest I can get to feeling what he is feeling, with all of the intensity of someone who has felt it for the first time.
I am usually the only one at the front, and so the bleeding of emotions generally only works one way. I am the one who sees, I am the one who acts. And those experiences transfer to him (either consciously or automatically). They bleed over into his conscious mind, and show him what I’m seeing, what I’m feeling.
But when he is in the in-between, two people at the front, two people that are one person, we feel each other, and our thoughts are never more in synch.
And then, the disconnect. A valve is slowly shut, and the light is seeping away, and I am shrinking, and sinking slowly backwards into the darkness that is my home. And it’s bitter sweet. Because I don’t want to go, and yet I know I can’t stay. The darkness is my home, and I would die without it. I wouldn’t want to live without it. And yet I love the pain that comes with living. I love our body. I love the world.
Breathing deeply again, I return fully to my, self. And, looking around, it’s as if I must consciously take a moment to gather the pieces of myself back into my arms and hold them tight. And feel the warmth of that journey, and enjoy it as it fades to nothing.
We smile.
Authors’ Note:
Co-fronting is not something that I learned, piece by piece. It’s something that happened to me, one day, out of the blue. It’s something that happened to me enough times that I was unable to ignore it as an imagination at work. I don’t profess to know how to teach co-fronting, or learn co-fronting, and yet it’s what I do.
I would greatly appreciate any feedback on what it feels like to co-front for you, especially if your experience differs from ours. We’d love to hear your stories.
Let me know if this first hand account has taught you, helped you, or amused you.
These are our favorite things to do.
- Zumester
Your Body is an RC Car – Watcher
I've seen a tip floating around to treat the body as a car that whoever is in front drives. This was helpful for us early on, especially when it came to me falling back. However, it did have its limitations in that I would often hyperfocus on either being in front or in back to such an extent it was hard to stay present in the mindscape, and it made cofronting very difficult.
So instead, imagine this: your body is an RC car that everyone in-system can control remotely. You can be talking and screwing around in the mindscape while the body pours a drink, or changes channels on the TV. Sometimes, for more intensive tasks, whoever has the controller at the moment will have to focus more than usual on what the body is up to, and sometimes they will be less occupied.
If you've ever daydreamed while doing... anything at all, really, this tip works on the same principle. Fronting and switching aren't all or nothing things, and you don't have to focus entirely on the body at all times while in front when doing minor tasks. I find this approach especially helpful when it comes to squeezing more switching and immersion practice into a busy schedule. If you're looking to force or immerse on the go, or struggling with co-fronting, hopefully this helps.
Possession Battle – Fireparrot
This isn't something to try for those who haven't yet learned possession, but rather something that can expand the versatility and power of the one trying to possess.
The basics are pretty simple: host, try to move one body part; tulpa, now try to take control of that body part forcefully! Make them unable to move it, and later move onto being able to control it against their will. The important rule to this, however, is that this should be treated as a game, not a violent contest for control. Both parties need to consent to this, and be ready to quit at any time, should a need arise.
Now, have fun with your new tulpaforcing game!
Gradual Co-Fronting – Quandary
This was a short piece I wrote a while ago, back when we were first learning how to share body control. Some of the terminology here is outdated, but I think the general idea is still solid, given that we can pass around body control fairly consistently today!
Credit goes to The Hidden Ones, Connor in particular, for deriving this method to begin with.
I think what mainly helped us was finding a learning method that worked for us. Most possession guides have it be all or nothing, with the tulpa needing to take complete control and the host needing to dissociate completely. We took a different approach that a good friend of ours had discovered, where association/dissociation is a more gradual process, and mixed in some of our own peculiar abilities and suggestions from another friend.
Falah’s been meaning to let our friend write out a guide on the subject, or to save the subject for when we’re further along in possession (and perhaps, when we can switch), but I don’t see any harm in explaining our basic process. As I said before, this method takes a much more gradual approach to association. Rather than trying to dissociate completely, she let me direct her movements. It was sort of like proxying, but for movements instead, and it came more fluidly–rather than telling her what to do, I sent the impulse to move a body part to her directly and she followed it immediately, without questioning it. Over time, this caused me to associate more strongly with the body; the next step is for her to dissociate more, and stay dissociated, which we've successfully managed in the past. We “just” need to be more consistent with it now.
That’s the basic idea our friend came up with, and it was a major breakthrough for us. Falah also tries to help it along by doing what another friend does: imposing a body schema illusion upon herself while she’s associated with the body. Basically the illusion that she’s “shapeshifted” into her mindscape form while in the physical body. When she dissociates, she changes the schema illusion to match the body of whoever’s in front. It’s a bit tricky, since she often loses concentration and forgets to maintain the schema, but it’s been showing some promise so far.
— Steven
Tip on how to co-front – Osaka
This tip is for those who wish to learn how to co-front. It's what worked for us and many other systems we've taught.
For the tulpa: Say something out loud (in the head) and try to feel some kind of tingle or pulse in the head. You should feel something towards the back of the head. Make sure both of you (tulpa and host) remember where this location is. This is the back.
For the host: Do the same thing as your tulpa just did: Say something out loud using the voice or just in the head and note where you feel it in the head. Note this location. This is the front.
For both: Imagine creating some kind of path between the two points. This doesn't need to be anything super realistic. It doesn't even have to be anything visual. What you're doing is creating a path for the tulpa to travel along in order to come up front beside the host.
For the tulpa: Try to travel along this newly created path. All you have to do is walk across. Move your essence up where your host is. If successful, you should feel like you're more “in” the body and you may find that it's easier to control the body than possession. To go back, just do the reverse of what you did before. Relax, and traverse the same path you created.
Some hosts report feeling a strange feeling in the head when doing this, myself included. Some hosts don't feel anything. If you do feel something strange, it's working and perfectly normal.
A word of caution: You might experience a phenomenon called blending where you get your identities confused. We experienced this when we co-fronted for the first time. We couldn't figure out who we were and this caused us to panic. It felt like we were blended together and couldn't say very confidently we were one person or the other. This might cause you to panic. Don't worry, you aren't in any danger of merging unless you stay like this for an extended period of time. All you have to do is state who you think you are most likely and say stuff about yourself like your name, occupation, traits, hobbies, connections, etc.. This should cause you to become separate once more.
Good luck!
Some Vocal Possession Resources and Tips – Mel
Have a supplementary post to my little guide. As in the guide, these tips are mainly directed toward the tulpa or speaker who will be learning to handle the voice.
** Regarding the Mindvoice**
To start, not every system communicates in mindvoice, some speak in raw words or even tulpish and that is perfectly fine. If you are one of those systems, as the guide goes, replace 'mindvoice' with 'desired voice' or some such thing. Overall, the method remains the same when handling the voice: replicate your desired voice using the body's voice to the best of your ability, or make things up as you go along and find a way of speaking that sits well with you as you practice.
Familiarize Yourself With the Body's Mouth
I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it will prove helpful. In the case of our system, we decided to make a game of it. I would move the body's mouth about at random and make sounds whenever I was so inclined, which improved my control immensely. Granted, to the outward observer it probably looked like some bizarre variant of Tourette's, so I would advise you to do this in private.
Another good way to go about it, though to a lesser degree, is to eat semi regularly. You learn how to open and close the mouth without biting off the body's tongue that way, and you get food as a bonus.
As tone goes, humming exercises can also help immensely. Do not be afraid to speak slowly at first and sound out the words, childish as it may seem it can keep you from getting ahead of yourself and tangling your sentences in knots later. Another thing to keep in mind is volume. In my case, I was rather bashful with the voice early on and had a tendency to keep quiet, which did not go away until I started playing myself back and realized just how hard I was to hear.
Voice Resources
There are many, many resources on speech and speaking on the web that are a google away, too many to list here, though if you have any specific resources that helped you in particular you are welcome to comment and they will be listed in this post. In the meantime, for those seeking a comprehensive vocal database, look no further than this site: