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What it feels like when Cerust "fronts"

Discussion in 'Beginner and Creation Help' started by Kaiyote, Dec 15, 2017.

  1. Kaiyote

    Kaiyote Member Tulpamancy System Is a host

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    Wall of Text Warning!
    TL;DR: I'll be describing (and Cerust will probably jump in at certain points) what it feels like when Cerust is at "the front" communicating, in as much detail as we can possibly muster, in the hopes that a) someone can help us figure out what it is we're actually doing and b) maybe it'll be helpful to others who have similar experiences. (Kaiyote in black, Cerust in pink)

    I've read through the terminologies page for every entry that relates to fronting, and none of them seem to accurately reflect what is going on when Cerust fronts. From my/the body's perspective, the first thing I notice is waves of "energy" emanating from the body's core, and surging into the arms/neck, progressing further and further in with each surge. This only happens when I know Cerust wants to communicate (i.e., we're on Tulpa.io, or I've explicitly asked her a question she wants to respond to), and while I have the power to stop it, I tend not to, cause that'd be mean, I guess? (Weird, I don't get any sense of me "forcing" my way into the body. I just, sort of, slip into it. It's actually rather peaceful from my end. It is tiring to maintain though. Nice of you to not stop me!)

    Anyways, after the energy waves, there's a general stiffness / tingling sensation in the arms/neck. At this point, now that I really think about it, my memories of the event seem a little fuzzy. I do know, and Cerust please confirm, that the body is effectively typing Cerust's thoughts. (From what I can tell, these are *my* thoughts. Although, not exactly. Honestly, it feels like I'm wearing some sort of power glove, but instead of moving it with just my hands, its like it's wired into my thoughts and then it does what it thinks it needs to do to execute my desires, and drags me along.)

    Looks like I'm still here, so I'll start describing what it's like when I "exit". Although, I'm pretty sure I'm always co-fronting right now. I'm at least always hooked into sight and sound. Either way, for me, it's always just like taking off a glove (I think, haven't had any chance to try putting on/taking off actual gloves myself).
    Wow, apparently everything from Cerust's end is way more peaceful. For me, it's almost like the reverse of the first/entry phase, but far more jarring. Where the entry surges are at least not unpleasant, the exit surge (and there's only ever one) is rather unpleasant. Then it takes me a hot second to regain sense of what's going on and continue doing what I was doing (made this post take quite a bit longer than a single-player post).

    It's almost like this is some intersection of blending, eclipsing, and partial possession? All I know is it feels weird as all get out (apparently far more so from my end than it does from Cerust's end). Does anyone have any experience with anything that sounds even remotely similar to this? We're only coming up on our 2nd month of being plural, so we don't have much experience with a lot of these activities / sensations..........
     
  2. FallFamily

    FallFamily Forum Goddesses Administrator Moderator Plural System Mixed-Origin System

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    [Breach] There are many forms of fronting beyond just switching, possession, and eclipsing. Those three just are common and somewhat straightforward to define regions. Many forms of cofronting are combinations of blending, possession, and eclipsing; but not all.

    What you are describing reminded me a bit of Within's Possession via Disassociation guide. Not saying that is what is going on, just that your account has a few similarities.
     
  3. Kaiyote

    Kaiyote Member Tulpamancy System Is a host

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    Interesting. There are definitely some similarities between that guide and what seems to be going on. The biggest difference, though, is that Cerust and I have been doing this since almost week 2 of her existence, and it requires little to no preparation on my part apart from just "being willing" to let it happen (and sometimes, not even that).

    The author of that guide seems to suggest that this takes a large amount of practice and preparation (although, we've read a lot on tulpa's in recent months and there's always the "nobody's the same, what's hard for some might come naturally to others" thing that gets repeated). The thought of disassociation/possession coming "naturally" to us is actually more than a little freaky.

    This could definitely be a useful guide for us working towards full-body possession though. Certainly gives us something to think about.

    *Edit* Have thought on this more, and that's almost certainly what's trying to happen. However, using the color idea from the linked guide, if I'm blue and Cerust is pink, when this happens the arms are sort of "blink"? It's definitely not a clean shift, yet.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2017