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Question about privacy

Discussion in 'Beginner and Creation Help' started by Mechthilde, Jun 19, 2016.

  1. Mechthilde

    Mechthilde Queen Of Procrastination

    Jun 19, 2016
    Hi everyone!
    So, I've been trying to create a tulpa for more than a year, without any kind of progress; but that's a story for another thread (sigh). I've always been sure that I want to have a tulpa, but recently, I've been having doubts about one particular item listed in the "con" section of this forum.
    tl;dr at the bottom!

    Basically, I'm extremely introverted and I like being alone. I can only truly relax when I'm locked in my room with no one around, and any interaction with another human being is tiring for me. I don't know if I've explained my personality well enough; I could write an essay about my need for solitude, but I'll try to spare you guys! :P

    Last month, we had two guests over at our house, and I had to share my room with one of them. In our tiny appartment, this meant 0 privacy the whole time. Again, I could write a lot about those few days. In short, it was terrible; I almost ended up having a panic attack and even had suicidal thoughts. The severity of my reaction convinced me to seek out therapy.
    Last week, due to an emergency, I had to share my room with a family friend. Again, desperation and anxiety until they finally left. For me, being alone is a basic need, like eating: I can go a few days without it, but damn if I don't feel the deprivation! Imagine not sleeping for a few nights: that how I felt when there was always another person in my room.

    So, you can probably see where this is going. I've always thought that, with a tulpa, it would be different, because, well, it's a tulpa. But recently I've been questioning if it would be the right choice for me. I know that a lot of shy/introverted people create tulpae, but I feel that my case is a little...extreme?
    I've read that you can set boundaries with your tulpa and that even they don't want to be around their host 24/7, but I don't know if my personality is ideal to share my mind with another sentient being.
    If my tulpa turned out to have the "perfect" personality, it wouldn't be a problem in the slightest. But I know that it won't happen (and I don't expect my tulpa to turn out exactly the way I want her to).

    I guess my question is...would it be a terrible idea for me to try and create a tulpa anyway, or is it true that it's different when they live in your head?
    Thanks in advance to however read this whole thing!

    tl;dr: I'm extremely introverted and loneliness is a basic need for me. Spending too much time with others leads me down some pretty dark paths. Is it going to be a problem if/when I have a tulpa?
  2. Drakaina

    Drakaina Dragon Kitty Tulpamancy System Is a host

    Feb 14, 2016
    Your case does seem to be a bit of an extreme one, and giving thought to this is definitely a good idea. Obviously I can't tell you what to do or not do, so take what I say as just my opinion. ^^;

    If I were in your situation, with such extreme introversion, and what having to share space for any significant length does to you, It might be wise to put tulpa creation on stand by until the therapy sinks in and you're a bit better. There are definitely ways of enforcing privacy for both persons with a tulpa. I learned a visualization technique that's helped me with this. If you're going from being a singlet (one mind in one head) though, it's something that will most likely have to be learned. So until the host, headmates, or both learns to put up privacy curtains, so to speak, you may have someone watching from your brain.

    As a fellow introvert I can say that unless you can project well, it's not the same as having someone actually around with you. Where they're a physical presence and energy in the room there with you. For me that eases the sort of claustrophobia sharing space with people brings.
  3. Loading User

    Loading User Stephen Is a systemmate

    Mar 30, 2016
    There are certainly ways to get away from tulpae- one being creating a wonderland where your tulpa can go when you aren't, or can't, be with them. Another thing is that being around tulpae isn't exactly like being around physical people. For one, you'll most likely be closer with a tulpa than you would be with someone outside. Imagine a best friend who knows everything about you, and also shares your head. Two, they're not physically there, which can ease some of the anxiety from that. Our host used to have problems with panicking when people were around, but never seemed to have a problem with us. It is wise to give this some more thought, however, and consider what would be best for you before you bring something else into your life.
  4. AGGuy

    AGGuy Professional Pancake Multiple System Is a systemmate

    May 25, 2016
    Rina and I spend time apart from each other by means of Rina going to her "pseudo-wonderland", which cuts the connection between us somehow (we even have a servitor just for sending messages "across the border" because just talking doesn't work).
    That's also where her sub-system consisting of her friends and family lives, so naturally she goes there on a daily basis.

    So yeah.
    That's how we get privacy from each other.

  5. FallFamily

    FallFamily Forum Goddesses Administrator Moderator Plural System Mixed-Origin System

    May 6, 2015
    She/Her, They/Them
    [Tri] This is good to be thinking about.

    As for ideas, we do suggest, if you make a tulpa, make and establish a rather large innerworld/wonderland first, one big enough that many people could be in it and have plenty of space. That way, your tulpa has a place to go when you need more privacy. May not solve the privacy problem, but it gives a better chance at handling it.
    AliceInWonderland and Drakaina like this.
  6. Keir-Avon

    Keir-Avon New Member

    Mar 12, 2016
    This is how we solved the privacy problem within our system. 10/10 would recommend.