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Pinned New Here? A Bunch of Reasons to NOT Create a Tulpa

Discussion in 'Beginner and Creation Help' started by Keiretsu, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. Keiretsu

    Keiretsu The Menagerie Mixed-Origin System

    May 16, 2015
    As you look around, in all the tulpa places, a lot of people tout how absolutely wonderful tulpas are. These are almost exclusively new people. Sorry newbies, but it's a thing. Most of the veterans will say they can be a positive influence, but don't go to lengths to convince you. There's a reason.

    Another common thing people say is to think carefully about it. Really weigh those options. That it's a difficult decision.

    To those who say these things, you know, you go into a great deal about the good, and tell people be careful, but you're just setting them up for a yes.

    No one talks about the bad stuff. WHY it's a tough choice. We keep reminding ourselves about the good times, we try to avoid thinking about bad things, and most of us don't repeat that stuff.

    So I want to take a moment to rectify this.

    Why Not to Create a Tulpa. The Dirty Secrets.

    Things Will Get Old

    People will talk about how nice it is to have someone always around. Don't get me wrong, it's great and all. Usually. You'll hit a wall though. You'll know all of each other's jokes. You'll know all their likes and dislikes. Their cute little habits will become those absolutely annoying ticks. It's worse then a clingy significant other, since there's absolutely no way to truly separate the two of you.

    If your relationship between each other is healthy, these won't happen often. If you become standoffish or trying to ignore each other, they tend to get worse. Try to always make sure you help each other out, and don't be afraid to push your own comfort zone a bit to find things that make things positive for both of you.

    Just know, when you do hit one of those walls the first time, don't let it send you in a downward spiral. They happen and there is NO avoiding them at least from time to time.

    Physical Touch Isn't Going to Happen

    I know, someone has told you, they can feel their tulpa. I have spoken to a NUMBER of people on this one. I have yet to meet a single credible person who says they can physically interact with one. If that's your endgame, thousands before you tried and failed, you just MIGHT be the one. Who knows. Odds are in my favor on who isn't the one.

    Now, there have been some credible sounding reports of basic stuff, like sensing when passing hand through something. You might even SWEAR you felt them. The rubber hand experiments say that's possible. If you dream of full-on them-on-you (or you-on-them) sexy times in the real world, you need to go back to dreaming.

    You might get something from internal interactions, but no matter how nice those might seem, they don't hold a candle to anything done IRL.

    Most likely, you'll try and fail a bunch, give up, and it'll be one of those things that got old.

    They Aren't Smarter Than You

    Another one I've heard. People who can co-process. It's an 'advanced talent'. Here's the thing though. You're using the same hardware. I can co-process, and the more you co-process, the less each process can do. Due to diminishing returns, you're not going to be able to be a band of geniuses working together to help a host.

    Go watch the one about how meatwad ate industrial adhesive and gained foresight powers if you think you can pull that off.

    Other than making tulpas for sexy times (see above) this is the next worst reason I've seen. Just as false in it's aspirations.

    To clear the air on this one... think of it this way. If there's two of you... you MIGHT be able to pull off a 55%+55% to make 110% outcome. Add a third, and you're at like 35.5%*3 to get a 106.5% outcome. That little boost keeps dropping as you add more to account for communication. The combined parts working together may be more than the some of the parts, to a point, but it's an extremely minimal boost, with finite gains, and diminishing returns.

    Some argue that because you or your tulpa have different strengths and weaknesses, you each contribute that much more to the whole, but when it boils down to it, it's the same brain doing it, regardless who's in control. Anyone can learn any skill with practice, tulpas can't shortcut that. You might gain a boost in something through creating a tulpa, but you WILL lose something in return. If you want to create a tulpa so the tulpa can be a better artist, then rather then spending hours upon hours upon hours working towards a fully sentient, switching tulpa who can do art, it's a LOT faster to grab a pen and paper yourself and practice art.

    Yes, You Can Become Disordered

    Here's the thing. Yes, this can lead to a disordered way of existing. If you start from just a curious person, then create tulpas, then realize they can't do a thing or you just grow bored of each other, there'll be a time, you may want them gone, and that just doesn't happen overnight. If this happens, you're deviant because you're a tulpamancer and you're distressed about it, so you need to seek psychological help.

    It's ok, a lot of us go to therapy. Things aren't always puppies and kittens and rainbows. Though, when things are fine, you're just eccentric.

    It's just when bad times do rear their head, which happens to a LOT of us, then don't hesitate to seek help. Most therapists are in it for the right reasons. They generally could be making more as a psychiatrist or medical doctor, but instead choose to help people.

    If you don't like anything about it, which will most likely happen, then yes, you're disordered. There's functional disordered, so don't think this means you're up the creek with no paddle.

    They Aren't Going Away

    This one does come up from time to time, seriously. Once you have a tulpa, and feed it long enough, it's worse than letting mice into your home. No matter how much you try to get rid of them, dissipation takes forever. That's even if you're capable, which I'm beginning to realize I'm not. Many, but not everyone can dissipate a tulpa. For some, once you create one, you're stuck, and to make matters worse, you have to actively avoid situations that can create more.

    So you go and create a new tulpa? I do hope you're in it for the long haul, because it very well may be.

    They might not grow much as time passes either. One of mine is a 4 year old. She wasn't meant to be, it was a deviation she picked up. She's been 4yo for years now. I -still- have to listen to fart jokes every single time I go to the bathroom. Cuteness has worn off. That long haul might end up being exactly as-is.

    Seriously, Things Get Old

    Think it'd be funny to have a childlike tulpa crack a fart joke in the bathroom? What about after a terrible run in with cheap bean burritos? What about every single time you wake up, every lunch break, after dinner, and right before bed, every single day, including weekends, that you ever walking into any bathroom?

    It would help if she came up with new material.

    They Can Hurt You

    Ok, so, everyone talks about how tulpas can't -really- hurt you. Truth is, they can. Most don't. Hell, your life is their life, so extremely few want to kill you. Thing is, when you have an eventual falling out of love for a spell, you're always in each other's presence, so being mean and emotionally or verbally abusing towards one another can hurt.

    If they project, add to this, adding visual stimulus to the pot such as scaring you or trying to provoke sympathy or pity for their own gain. To be malicious to be malicious only is rare, but sometimes you just fight like siblings. It'll become anything goes, with you on the short end sometimes.

    If they switch, there's plenty they can do that won't kill you but leave you hurting. I always wonder about new bruises. This is a LOT less common with tulpas, but again, it's not unheard of. I've dealt with others who like to grab razor blades to the legs. Less likely with tulpas, but if you're switching, you absolutely cannot rule out moments of weakness.

    Do these make up a large amount of people? No. You'd hear about it more, and a lot less people would stick with it so long. It does happen from time to time and everyone has moments of weakness, so do be prepared for it.

    It Won't Make You Special

    This one is more towards the younger crowd with hopes and aspirations of being cool. Adults, most of you already had your dreams shattered a little by adulting, so you probably dream a bit more realistic.

    If you're here because you want to get into something that sets you apart, don't. Seriously, go get pet rats and be that kid who always has a rat on their shoulder that's so badass. You'll do better for it.

    Tulpas are becoming a bit commonplace. If you heard about tulpas in school from a kid, then other kids know too. Don't push yourself into it just to set yourself apart. It's not fair to you or your tulpa. When you realize those reasons were a mistake, and want to fix it, you're going to be torn with the decision of is it killing someone you care about or not. Trust me, this comes up often enough to not be ignored.

    If you're not doing it as a status symbol, by all means, stick around. Safe yourself the heartache later if that's why you're here.

    Just to toss it out there... if you're in high school and walk up to some random stranger think, and I mean really think of what they would think of you if you said A: I have a pet rat and taught it this neat trick *does trick using rat on shoulder* or B: I have an imaginary friend...

    The Getting Old Thing, Seriously, It's a Thing

    One of you is watching the screen, one's doing the typing, you didn't want to say that thing in that post, or was it they didn't. You can't tell which if you won the argument. Was it an argument? Wait, which if you is doing the typing? Dude, yeah? Remember when? Oh, yeah. Was fun. Yep. Want to? Nah. K.

    You talk to each other, sure, but at some point, it's just to confirm you know what the other is thinking. Adding more tulpas just delays this. It's going to happen at some point.

    You Want To Be Multiple

    If you're here because you want to be a multiple, and think this is your only options, then think again. There's a lot of different groups around, there's way more than one way to skin the proverbial cat.

    Soulbonds, Daemons, Familiars.... there's plenty of other things out there. Don't like the heavily referenced name by your final stop. Most of them have merit, even if the approach is different. You might think the idea of a thoughtform is a good one. Look around. Find what suits you best. Tulpas are on the longer term end, and higher maintenance than some of the others. There's some additional risks, such as accidental others, you don't see with other types of thoughtforms. Seriously, consider your options and don't rule out that it's just a weird thing you might not want to do.

    Also, don't think if you create a tulpa, you'll understand your DID friend so much better. A few of the less nasty things, sure, you'll have a MINIMAL frame of reference I guess. Why they think like they do? THAT will remain a mystery. What's all that bad stuff they go see someone about? Again, you'll be in the dark. Don't even get me started on the amnesic episodes. Shit happens. Serious shit. Tulpas are like taking knives to a gunfight in some situations, and by gun fight, I mean at sea... you're not going to get close to the target.

    Even if you do create a tulpa, you'll never have more than frame of reference with others since it's always a highly personal experience. This doesn't matter if others have DID, daemons, or even tulpas. How you developed yours was how YOU did it. How you interact is how YOU interact. Everyone else has how THEY do it. There's a minimum of commonality, so you can both talk about something. Don't expect to fully understand others, no matter how close they might be.
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2016
  2. FallFamily

    FallFamily Forum Goddesses Administrator Moderator Plural System Mixed-Origin System

    May 6, 2015
    She/Her, They/Them
    [Tri] The thread has been pinned. This is very good information for prospective tulpamancers to know.
  3. FreyasSpirit

    FreyasSpirit New Member Plural System Mixed-Origin System

    Dec 25, 2015
    She/Her, They/Them, It/Its
    <3 this post, especially the beautiful tone of it. It played right into our sense of humor and was really enjoyable to read and we giggled a bunch while reading it.

    Whenever we run into this claim, our immediate thought is that it's bullshit or the system is just making themselves manic during those periods. We can absolutely believe that for some people, having access to a new shiny toy allows them to dive deeply into mania, giving the illusion of tulpas making them able to do so much more. What we don't believe is that parallel processing actually gives them superpowers.

    ok, now we are curious about this. We don't differentiate between tulpas, alters, and other forms of headmates in our system so it's always interesting to hear about the differences others perceive between them.

    Another thing to add is that there are probably others you will find in the community who have similar experiences to you. For example, we have found that we tend to relate more to other polyfragmented systems. If you are trying to do it to relate more to one person, you will probably fail as badly as that time you tried to pick up your crush's special interest just to try to get closer to them. If you do this with the understanding that you will wander into the community and find others with similar experiences to you, you will have a much better time.