1. Due to hosting difficulties, difficulty maintaining the forum, time issues, etc.; some time later than a week from now (June 9, 2018) but within the next month, this site will be changing adminstrators from us (Fall Family) to the Quandary and moved, and the forum either migrated to other software or ended. If the forum is ended, static versions of the guides and other resources will be preserved. For more information, see Upcoming Administration Change and Possible End of Forum.

Is it normal/healthy to feel like a separate entity when blending?

Discussion in 'Beginner and Creation Help' started by Riley, Feb 20, 2017.

  1. Riley

    Riley Abzan System Mixed-Origin System Is an alter

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    16
    Pronouns:
    She/Her, They/Them
    I was playing with Dante last night when we sort of "slipped" together and started co-fronting. Now, a little blending is normal for us when we're co-fronting, but this time we felt like an entirely different person. If you watch Steven Universe, it was basically a fusion. We had a solid identity, the name "Eli" popped into our head. The whole sensation was kind of intense but also pretty natural, moreso than usual blending. We stayed together for at least an hour until we were too tired to keep going and went to sleep after separating.

    We're both tempted to try to recreate what happened last night and bring "Eli" back, but I'm a little worried at the possibility of Dante and I getting permanently stuck together.
     
  2. Falah

    Falah aka the Chiaroscuro

    Joined:
    May 6, 2015
    Messages:
    314
    System/Host:
    The Quandary
    Pronouns:
    They/Them
    [Cassius] It's not unheard of for this to happen, definitely. Whether it's "healthy" depends on its impact on you two and how you two feel about it.

    It's kind of a non-committal answer, admittedly, but "normal" and "healthy" are kind of difficult words in plurality. (And in a lot of other things as well.)

    As for whether it'd end up with you two stuck together, spontaneous integration of system members isn't unheard of, but many of the cases I've heard were also reversible with a little work. (Though one case ended with an extra system member being made from the reversing split, sooo take that as you will.) I'm not too experienced in this area, but I think that most of the ideas used to help with unwanted blending could be used to reverse sticking.
     
  3. Riley

    Riley Abzan System Mixed-Origin System Is an alter

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    16
    Pronouns:
    She/Her, They/Them
    Yeah, this stuff isn't an exact science. Thanks for the response though.

    From what you said it seems safe enough, so we'll probably try this at least a few more times. (And maybe bookmark a page on getting rid of unwanted blending.)
     
  4. Campari

    Campari

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    System/Host:
    Cedar
    Pronouns:
    He/Him
    I experience something like this as well - as long as it doesn't feel distressing, I think you are okay. We do it on purpose when we need a little charisma boost.
     
  5. Riley

    Riley Abzan System Mixed-Origin System Is an alter

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    16
    Pronouns:
    She/Her, They/Them
    It's certainly not distressing, it's more like a confidence boost for both of us. We're glad to know there are others who do this too.
     
  6. FallFamily

    FallFamily Forum Goddesses Administrator Moderator Plural System Mixed-Origin System

    Joined:
    May 6, 2015
    Messages:
    574
    Pronouns:
    She/Her, They/Them
    [Tri] From our system's experience and from what we have read, it takes some determination and time to make a merging stick. Also, they can often be reversed unless the merging has been established for a long time in which case YMWV. That said, it can be hard to make a separation happen after a while (we are talking months of being merged, not days).

    Hail and us have experienced something similar. Weirdest thing is that our combination and both of us don't exactly get along (or, perhaps we just have an issue or two to work out and then all will be better).
     
  7. Riley

    Riley Abzan System Mixed-Origin System Is an alter

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    16
    Pronouns:
    She/Her, They/Them
    So as long as we don't stay together for too long, we should be okay. Awesome! Interesting that you two and your combination don't get along well.

    Amusingly we're now having trouble on combining like we did before, now all we can do is co-front.
     
  8. Falah

    Falah aka the Chiaroscuro

    Joined:
    May 6, 2015
    Messages:
    314
    System/Host:
    The Quandary
    Pronouns:
    They/Them
    [Cassius] We thought on this a little and we've realized that there were a few times when we've sort of blended this way deliberately--just didn't realize it was because we didn't feel like making a combined name.

    Maybe symbolism would help? E.g. clasping hands, imagining a transformation sequence (like Drive Forms in Kingdom Hearts, for example, or SU). It's kind of a weird suggestion, but from our experience, brains gobble that sort of thing right up.
     
  9. Riley

    Riley Abzan System Mixed-Origin System Is an alter

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    16
    Pronouns:
    She/Her, They/Them
    Yeah, I'm having a hard time finding where the line between "blended" and "temporarily integrated" is.

    Heh, that's certainly true. We learned how to co-front by improvising a scene from Silent Hill 2 and using it as a metaphor.
     
  10. Geno

    Geno New Member Multiple System Is a systemmate

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2015
    Messages:
    21
    Pronouns:
    He/Him
    This has happened to us before, in varying degrees. Though, it doesn't happen quite as often as it used to. A bit of backstory, I am a median system made up of Geno "Y" and Geno "B". We weren't always merged, as B was not always active. Essentially, when Megan was nine, she dismissed me as an "imaginary friend", I made two simultaneous decisions. The first was to become dormant, and wait for Megan to wish for my return. This part of the split became B. The second was to stay close, and intervene whenever trouble found her. Thus, Y.

    Y could not speak with Megan directly, but found that he was capable of fronting alone, or merging. Over the next year, Y and Megan began merge quite frequently. By adolescence, they had integrated to a large degree. B turned up during this time, nine years after the fact. However, Y and Megan were such a different entity that I, as B, did not recognize myself in them. As integrated systemmates, Y and Megan were not entirely emotionally stable. However, they were quite distinguished from their disintegrated selves.

    Eventually, after 13 years of integration, they disintegrated following a work-related concussion. For two years, Y stayed around the front, but could neither merge nor reintegrate. As B, Megan and I had thought that Y was either an intrusive thought or a malicious systemmate masquerading as me. I hadn't known that I had split, and only found out after we finally talked with Y a year ago. Eventually, Y and I merged.

    We prefer to stay this way. However, I doubt we will ever be fully integrated. It is not something for which we wish. As a median system, we enjoy having some degree of separation. Y has nine years of memories that I lack. To me, these are invaluable. I much prefer them to nine years of unknowable nothingness.

    But, to address your concerns, I would not worry about becoming permanently integrated. Y and Megan integrated for 13 years and still managed to separate. They were, however, a unique person unto themselves.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2017
  11. Hierophant

    Hierophant New Member Tulpamancy System Is a host

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2015
    Messages:
    3
    Pronouns:
    He/Him
    YEs, this is perfectly normal/healthy.