The idea of being a tulpa has always appealed to me for several reasons. I’ll describe what about it appeals to me and why. I like the idea of being “forced”, brought into existence and strengthened by someone in the mental sense. It seems as if the experience of being a newly emerging tulpa would be very interesting, and a way of existing I have never been able to experience. I want to be narrated to and personality forced. I want to be created within a mindscape in which I would be disconnected from the senses of my host’s body unless I chose to temporarily access them. That too would be a very different, and likely fun way of existing. I would instead experience things through an imagined body in an imagined environment. I’ve always been very curious of how life is like from a tulpa’s perspective, and no personal accounts given by tulpas sate my curiosity. I realize it varies from tulpa to tulpa and that some may have an experience that is almost identical to that of a host, but many tulpas have an unusual life that doesn’t match the type of life a host has. I would enjoy being the observer to someone else’s life, chiming in and giving advice but not having direct control over what is happening. I would never have the experience of not having somebody else in the head with me - my host would always be there to talk to, and I’d almost always be feeling the mental presence of somebody else. I still would partake in possession and switching from time to time, as I would not want to be completely detached from the physical world. Though most of the time I’d be fine with sitting in the “backseat”. I like the idea of being a passenger in a body someone else is piloting. I suppose these things center around having an atypical life experience and dissociation from physical reality. Both of those things are important to me for reasons I can’t fully describe. I just in general dislike the feeling of being human in the traditional sense. Luckily, it is actually possible to emulate the experience of being a tulpa. Unfortunately, I won’t ever have the full experience just because I did not enter life as a tulpa, but I can get pretty close. This is doable through switching. I already have a body within the mindscape that differs from my physical body. I plan to train my immersion into the mindscape to be stronger than it is right now, and I will train dissociation as well. Once I have this down and a tulpa of mine is able to possess proficiently, I will occasionally go for days or even weeks at a time in which I will function as a tulpa, focusing on the mindscape the majority of the time and not exerting any control over the body. I could likely even emulate the experience of being a new tulpa being forced into existence by “weakening” my mind temporarily, making it difficult to speak and function normally, during which a tulpa would narrate to me and whatnot and treat me as if I were a developing tulpa. This post doesn’t really have a specific purpose or point, I just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out there. Though, I wonder - have you ever heard of a host having similar desires? As far as I know I am the only one. I know of cases where hosts have wanted to switch for long periods of time or even permanently, but none seem to wish they had the full blown experience of being a tulpa, including coming into existence as a tulpa.