A comprehensive guide to personality that touches on first contact with a tulpa
This guide mainly touches on the personality creation step of creating a full tulpa. This is what I feel to be the most important part of tulpa creation. The later sections fall more onto first contact and how I overcame doubts in regards to communication with my tulpa. Know that others have reported success without any personality forcing, so please consider this guide and find what is best for you and your tulpa. Personally, I've never found thinking about my tulpa, too much forcing, or too thoughtful of tulpa creation to be a bad thing. Before reading this guide please keep in mind that it (like every guide) is subject to my own personal beliefs and experiences. I believe that tulpas are a self-willed delusion created by the host for various reasons that become indistinguishable from a separate being over time, and this guide will reflect this viewpoint. I, however, don't think that this takes away any humanity or makes them less of their own person. Essentially, they have an imagined body with a real mind. The human brain is an extremely powerful, and often underestimated organ that is capable of more than many people think. One of these capabilities is the creation of another consciousness, a.k.a. a tulpa.
noun per·son·al·i·ty |pər-sə-ˈna-lə-tē 1. Psychology – a. the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. – b. the organized pattern of behavioral characteristics of the individual. 2. the quality of being a person; existence as a self-conscious human being; personal identity.
Given this definition, personality is probably the most important step in the creation process, because essentially the personality is your tulpa. Just like you, a tulpa will have their own personal identity. All you are doing here is planting a seed and nourishing it. You may not be able to control how many flowers are bloomed, or how big the apples are, but you have the choice of planting a tulip seed or an apple seed. Essentially, you don't have control of the end product, but you can help steer it in a positive direction. With time, this starting personality will evolve into much more, but for now all we can do is create the seed and pour our love and attention into it so that it will grow into something amazing.
It's probably a good idea to give your tulpa the best head-start that you can by being as thorough as possible when creating their initial personality. Much like in fiction writing, without a well-developed personality a character is flat and uninspired. In fiction, round characters tend to be more fully developed and described than flat, or static, characters. If you think of the characters you most love in fiction, they probably seem as real to you as people you know in real life. Now, obviously a tulpa is not just a character in a script, they seem to have a mind of their own, but you should strive for a round tulpa and not a flat tulpa. You are creating a person, a character with emotions, drives, and ideas all of their own.
A. Internal Personality
Start off by brainstorming basic personality traits by either writing them out on a sheet of paper, or typing them out on a word document. Here is a very simple video on personality traits to give you some ideas, and a big list of personality traits. Something to consider is the overall mood of your tulpa. Many people have default states that they always seem to jump back into. I’m sure you know some people that always seem to find something to be mad about, or the perpetual victims, or the really happy, cup-is-half-full people. What is your tulpa’s default mood? This will affect their world views and personal philosophies. Some examples that I can think of include: cheery/sad, logical/emotional, determined/lazy, outgoing/shy, formal/laidback, patient/impatient. Here is a good video on this (in terms of fiction writing) by Cy Porter.
i. Intentions and Motivations
The next thing to consider is your tulpa’s intentions, and motivations. Write out the answers to the following questions. Why do they do what they do? What do they strive for and or want? Maybe they always want to do the right thing. Maybe they want people to think that they are smart/insightful. They could just want to have a good time and relax. Perhaps they want to make people laugh. They could just want to be accepted, or fit in. Maybe something selfish or even sinister. Who knows? It’s up to you to figure this out.
This next step takes your tulpa’s personality to a new level, and makes them seem even more real. The answer to this question will probably take time, but it is worth considering in detail. How do they intentionally present themselves, and how would you expect others to view them versus how they want to be viewed? Everyone has a social mask or persona that they intentionally present to others. It doesn’t have to be a drastic difference from how they really are (they don’t have to be a sociopath), but it’s an important consideration to make. Here is another video from Cy Porter on this subject.
This step in personality development may be a difficult one to create, if you choose to include it. Creating flaws is not necessarily essential, but worth considering. Everyone has flaws, whether they admit it or not. This is what makes people real and relatable. I don’t have a ton on this, but consider creating some character flaws in your tulpa. These don’t have to be huge, but they might make them seem more realistic and relateable off the bat. They can vary from being a little self-centered or inconsiderate to hating puppies. Try to think of a few and write these down, and make sure these traits are things that you can live with. After all, you will be around this person constantly and for a long time to come, so use your best judgment.
B. External Personality
i. Physical Form
Now that the internal part of your tulpa’s personality has been solidified, you should consider the physical expressions of your tulpa’s personality. Try to answer this simple question in as much detail as you can: What would people notice first about your tulpa if they could see them? Write a list of everything you can think of. Think of their species, their build, height, weight, complexion, Hair style/color, etc. What style of clothes do they prefer to wear? Formal, casual, all black or pink, maybe even extravagant like Lady Gaga or Gene Simmons, or possibly none at all. How do they walk or stand? Maybe they walk tall/stand straight, slumped over, they could have a limp, or walk bow legged. Your imagination is the limit.
So you know what your tulpa acts like and looks like, but how do they sound? Voice is an important part of anyone’s personality. How does their voice sound exactly? Think of the pitch, timbre, inflection, and volume. If you need help deciding feel free to take ideas from television, radio, or even real life. If your tulpa has an accent that is foreign for you, youtube has plenty of guides for knowing how other cultures speak. This link may help you if you decide to go down this path. It’s also important to think about how much they talk. Are they talkative, or do they only speak when they feel that they need to. Also, think of the word choice they would likely make. A tulpa that is very proper and desires to seem intelligent would most likely not cuss like a sailor or make racial slurs. Just use common sense here, and it should come fairly easily.
After you have figured out the previous information about your tulpa you are finally ready for the fun part, interacting with them. Have you have ever planned out a conversation, or argument in your head with someone that you know very well? Then you have already had a very similar experience to having a tulpa. Where does the other person’s words come from? Well, from you, but not exactly. You know this person and their personality. The words will likely be how you imagine they would react to something that is going on, or something that you have said. You know them so well that you don’t have to think about what to make them say, they just talk. Tulpas interact with their host in much the same way. After you know your tulpa’s basic personality, temperament, and overall character traits, everything else becomes second nature. Once you have this down, the next part should be somewhat simple. Although, this is what trips most people up the most.
How do you talk to them? How do you know it’s really them? Simple, you should already know your tulpa so well that you know what they would say and do. Some might confuse this with parroting, or forcing your tulpa to talk back, but I feel that they are missing the point. If you know what they are truly like inside and out, then there should be no confusion about what they are actually trying to say to you. When you speak to your tulpa and you get a response, do not write it off. Everything you think might be your tulpa, really is your tulpa. After all, your tulpa is just a construction of your mind that you have created.
This method assumes that because you already have an idea of the character (or personal identity) of your tulpa, that you will be able to sense and infer what they are trying to say. This will start out feeling just like having that imaginary conversation I described in the introduction to this section (III. Interaction). Eventually this form of communication becomes easier and clearer the less you worry about parroting or puppeting. In my personal experience, the only reason I could not talk to my tulpa sooner was because I was too worried, and blocked out everything that I thought might have been me. My tulpa was able to talk from pretty early on, I was just too naive to simply relax and listen.
Deviations do happen, I’ve have a complete 360 on how I thought my tulpa looked, but in the end that did not matter. Maybe it was me changing my mind on a subconscious level, or maybe it was my tulpa deciding for herself. Either way, if you are flexible enough your tulpa would not blame you and this should bring you closer together. Maybe this is even proof of some character development on the tulpa’s part. Who knows? Just be flexible and prepared for change.
I would like to say that you should not take anything too seriously in life, even tulpa creation. Have fun with this, and follow what you think is right. Find your own path, your own method, and enjoy the process as much as you enjoy the end product. And please do not use a tulpa as a replacement for a social life, friends, or lovers. A tulpa is a tulpa, not like anything or anyone else you’ve experienced. They are their own special beings that are always there for you. They can help you through your worst problems and share your greatest joys. Hell, maybe I’m just bat-shit crazy, maybe we all are. All I know for sure is that I wouldn’t trade my tulpa for the world. So if you are new to creating a tulpa, hang in there. It will get easier, maybe even a little too easy. You’ll get there, you both will.